Medical & Health Facts

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Medical
The 7 Dangerous Acts after meal

THE SEVEN DANGEROUS

DON'T ACT THE 7 ACTIONS BELOW AFTER YOU HAVE A MEAL

* Don't smoke- Experiment from experts proves that smoking a cigarette after meal is comparable to smoking 10 cigarettes (chances of cancer is higher).

* Don't eat fruits immediately - Immediately eating fruits after meals will cause stomach to be bloated with air. Therefore take fruit 1-2 hr after meal or 1hr before meal.

* Don't drink tea - Because tea leaves contain a high content of acid. This substance will cause the Protein content in the food we consume to be hardened thus difficult to digest.

* Don't loosen your belt - Loosening the belt after a meal will easily cause the intestine to be twisted & blocked.

* Don't bathe - Bathing after meal will cause the increase of blood flow to the hands, legs & body thus the amount of blood around the stomach will therefore decrease. This will weaken the digestive system in our stomach.

* Don't walk about - People always say that after a meal walk a hundred steps and you will live till 99. In actual fact this is not true. Walking will cause the digestive system to be unable to absorb the nutrition from the food we intake.

* Don't sleep immediately - The food we intake will not be able to digest properly. Thus will lead to gastric & infection in our intestine.






HEALTHY JUICES

Carrot + Ginger + Apple - Boost and cleanse our system.

Apple + Cucumber + Celery - Prevent cancer, reduce cholesterol, and improve stomach upset and headache.

Tomato + Carrot + Apple - Improve skin complexion and bad breath.

Bitter gourd + Apple + Milk - Avoid bad breath and reduce internal body heat.

Orange + Ginger + Cucumber - Improve Skin texture and moisture and reduce body heat.

Pineapple + Apple + Watermelon - To dispel excess salts, nourishes the bladder and kidney.

Apple + Cucumber + Kiwi - To improve skin complexion.

Pear & Banana - regulates sugar content.

Carrot + Apple + Pear + Mango - Clear body heat, counteracts toxicity, decreased blood pressure and fight oxidization .

Honeydew + Grape + Watermelon + Milk - Rich in vitamin C + Vitamin B2 that increase cell activity and strengthen body immunity.

Papaya + Pineapple + Milk - Rich in vitamin C, E, Iron. Improve skin complexion and metabolism.

Banana + Pineapple + Milk - Rich in vitamin with nutritious and prevent constipation.

Interesting Facts about Woman & Pune

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How to Keep a Woman Happy?


It's not difficult.All you have to do is to be:
1.A friend
2.A companion
3.A lover
4.A brother
5.A father
6.A master
7.A chef
8.An electrician
9.A carpenter
10.A plumber
11.A mechanic
12.A decorator
13.A stylist
15.A gynecologist
16.A psychologist
17.A pest exterminator
18.A psychiatrist
19.A healer
20.A good listener
21.An organizer
22.A good father
23.Very clean
24.Sympathetic
25.Athletic
26.Warm
27.Attentive
28.Gallant
29.Intelligent
30.Funny
31.Creative
32.Tender
33.Strong
34.Understanding
35.Tolerant
36.Prudent
37.Ambitious
38.Capable
39.Courageous
40.Determined
41.True
42.Dependable
43.Passionate WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:
44.Give her compliments regularly
45.Love shopping
46.Be honest
47.Be very rich
48.Not stress her out
49.Not look at other girlsAND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:
50.Give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself
51.Give her lots of time, especially time for herself
52.Give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes IT IS VERY IMPORTANT:
53.Never to forget:* Birthdays* Anniversaries* Arrangements she makes




HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY?


1. Leave him in peace, NO Nagging (very, very, very important).
2. Feed him well.
3. Let him have the remote control.










Here are some interesting facts about Pune:

1. Pune has the impeccable record of highest growth within a span of 20 Years
2. Pune has highest number of pubs in Asia .
3. Pune has highest number of cigarette smokers in India .
4. Pune has the highest number of software companies in India-212, followed by Bangalore - 208, Hyderabad - 97. Hence called the Silicon Valley of Maharashtra
5. Pune has 21 engineering colleges, which is highest in the world in a given city. Pune University has 57 Engineering colleges affiliated to it, which is highest in the world.
6. Pune is the only city in the world to have commercial and defense Airport operating from the same strip.
7. Pune has highest number of public sectors and government Organizations in India .
8. Pune University has highest number of students going abroad for higher studies taking the first place from IIT-Kanpur.
9. Pune has only 38% of local population (i.e. Marathi) .Hence a true cosmopolitan with around 20 North Indians, 10% Tamilians, 14% Telugites, 10% Keralites, 8% Europeans ( Koregaon Park ), 5% Africans, 2% Bangalis, and 6% a mixture of all races.
10. Pune police has the reputation of being second best in India after Mumbai.
11. Pune has the highest density of traffic in India.
12. Pune has the highest number of 2-wheelers in the world.
13. Pune is considered the fashion capital of east comparable to Paris !!
14. Pune has produced the maximum international sportsmen in India for all sports next to Mumbai & Delhi.
15. Pune has produced the maximum number of scientists considered for many high profile Prize nominations.
16. Pune has produced the highest number of professionals in USA almost 60% of the Indian population abroad is from Pune (except Gulf).

Useful Information

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Useful Information


Would like to know your mobile is original or not?!!

Type # 6 0 # *

After you enter the code you will see a new code contain 15 digits: 0 6 7 8 9 4 3 5 4 3 4 5 6 6 1

IF the digit number Seven & Eight is 02 or 20 that mean it was Assembly on Emirates which is very Bad quality :(

IF the digit number Seven & Eight is 08 or 80 that mean it¢ s manufactured in Germany which is not bad

IF the digit number Seven & Eight is 01 or 10 that mean it’s manufactured in Finland which is Good

IF the digit number Seven & Eight is 00 that mean it¢ s manufactured in France which is the best Mobile Quality ...



THINGS YOU NEVER KNEW YOUR CELLPHONE COULD DO There are a few things that can be done in times of grave emergencies.

Your mobile phone can actually be a life saver or an emergency tool for survival.
Check out the things that you can do with it: - 1 EMERGENCY
* The Emergency Number worldwide for **Mobile** is 112 ...* If you find yourself out of coverage area of your mobile network and there is an emergency, dial 112 and the mobile will search any existing network to establish the emergency number for you, and interestingly this number 112 can be dialed even if the keypad is locked. **Try it out.**

2 Have you locked your keys in the car? Does you car have remote keys? This may come in handy someday. Good reason to own a cell phone: If you lock your keys in the car and the spare keys are at home, call someone at home on their cell phone from your cell phone. Hold your cell phone about a foot from your car door and have the person at your home press the unlock button, holding it near the mobile phone on their end. Your car will unlock. Saves someone from having to drive your keys to you. Distance is no object. You could be hundreds of miles away, and if you can reach someone who has the other "remote" for your car, you can unlock the doors (or the trunk).

Editor's Note: *It works fine! We tried it out and it unlocked our car over a cell phone!"*

3 Hidden Battery power

Imagine your cell battery is very low , you are expecting an important call and you don't have a charger. Nokia instrument comes with a reserve battery. To activate, press the keys *3370# Your cell will restart with this reserve and the instrument will show a 50% increase in battery. This reserve will get charged when you charge your cell next time. AND







4 How to disable a STOLEN mobile phone?

To check your Mobile phone's serial number, key in the following digits on your phone:

* # 0 6 # A 15 digit code will appear on the screen.
This number is unique to your handset. Write it down and keep it somewhere safe.
when your phone get stolen, you can phone your service provider and give them this code. They will then be able to block your handset so even if the thief changes the SIM card, your phone will be totally useless.

You probably won't get your phone back, but at least you know that whoever stole it can't use/sell it either.

If everybody does this, there would be no point in people stealing mobile phones. Please spread this useful information around



Have U ever heard about LPG gas cylinder's expire date. I also didn't know.


How to find LPG cylinder's expiry date ?

Very important information.

Most of us do not know this. I came to know today from the gas stockiest, because an accident occurred.

Do you know that there is an expiry date (physical life) for LPG cylinders?

Expired Cylinders are not safe for use and may cause accidents. In this regard please be cautious at the time of accepting any LPG cylinder from the Vendor.

Here is how we can check the expiry of LPG cylinders:

On one of three side stems of the cylinder, the expiry date is coded alpha numerically as follows A or B or C or D and some two digit number following this e.g. D06.

The alphabets stand for quarters -
A for March (First Qtr),
B for June (Second Qtr),
C for Sept (Third Qtr), &
D for December (FourthQtr).
The digits stand for the year till it is valid.
Hence D06 would mean December qtr of 2006.

Share this message with everyone you know, UR kind cooperation will Save the life of many people and create awareness among the public.








This info' is sure to help PC users very much.During a recent visit to an optician, one of my friends was told of an exercise for the eyes by a specialist doctor in the US that he termed as 20-20-20."
It is apt for all of us, who spend long hours at our desks, looking at the computer screen.
I Thought I'd share it with you. 20-20-20
Step I :-
After every 20 minutes of looking into the computer screen, turn your head and try to look at any object placed at least 20 feet away.

This changes the focal length of your eyes, a must-do for the tired eyes.
Step II :-
Try and blink your eyes for 20 times in succession, to moisten them.

Step III :-
Time permitting of course, one should walk 20 paces after every 20 minutes of sitting in one particular posture. Helps blood circulation for the entire body.

Circulate among your friends if you care for them and their eyes. They say that your eyes r mirror of your soul, so do take care of them, they are priceless... ......... ....









Folder Lock without any S/W

Many people have been asking for an alternative way to lock folders without the use of any alternative software. So, here you go.

1. Open Notepad and copy the below code
2. Change your password in the code it's shown the place where to type your password.
3. Save file as locker.bat.
4. Now double click on locker .bat
5. It will create folder with Locker automatically for u. After creation of the Locker folder, place the contents u want to lock inside the Locker Folder and run locker.bat again . **********************************************************



Recover Shift Deleted Items from your Out Look.



1. Close out look.
2. Click on 'Start'.
3. Click on 'Run'.
4. Type 'regedit' on displayed filed.
5. Click on 'OK' button.
6. Click on 'My Computer'
7. Click on 'HKEY_LOCAL_MACHINE'
8. Click on 'SOFTWARE'.
9. Click on 'Microsoft'
10. Click on 'Exchange'
11. Click on 'Client'.
12. Click on 'Options'
13. Now Select Edit->New->DWORD Value.
14. Rename the created file with 'DumpsterAlwaysOn'. Without a single space
15. Now Double Click on this 'DumpsterAlwaysOn'
16. Set Value Data to '1'
17. Click on 'OK' button
18. Exit 'Registry Editor'.
19. Now Restart Out Look
20. Now 'Recover Deleted Items' is available under Tool.
Now you can select the which ever the mail you want to recover.


Hi, Here is some useful information for all.




Ctrl+C may be the most important work we do everyday.

But it's not a very safe thing to do. Read on to know why. What happens when you press Ctrl+C while you are Online...

We do copy various data by Ctrl + C for pasting elsewhere. This copied data is stored in clipboard and is accessible from the net by a combination of Javascripts and ASP.
Just try this:

1) Copy any text by Ctrl + C
2) Click the Link: < http://www.sourcecodesworld.com/special/clipboard.asp

3) You will see the text you copied was accessed by this web page. Do not keep sensitive data (like passwords, credit card numbers, PIN etc.) in the clipboard while surfing the web.

It is extremely easy to extract the text stored in the clipboard to steal your sensitive information. This is very good. This will warn you if you are missing the subject of your mail.


Please follow the below steps:
1. Open your outlook
2. Press Alt+F11. This opens the Visual Basic editor
3. On the Left Pane, you can see "Microsoft Outlook Objects" or "Project1", expand this. Now you can see the "ThisOutLookSession".
4. Double click on "ThisOutLookSession". It will open up a code pane.
5. Copy and Paste the following code in the right pane.(Code Pane)


'============================================================================ Private Sub Application_ItemSend(ByVal Item As Object, Cancel As Boolean)
Dim strSubject As String
strSubject = Item.Subject
If Len(Trim(strSubject)) = 0 Then
Prompt$ = "Subject is Empty. Are you sure you want to send the Mail?"
If MsgBox(Prompt$, vbYesNo + vbQuestion + vbMsgBoxSetForeground, "Check for Subject") = vbNo Then
Cancel = True
End If
End If
End Sub

'============================================================================ 6. Save this and close the VB Code editor.

Does not work on Win 2000..

Management Lesson

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Lesson Number 1: A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A small rabbit saw the crow, and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long? The crow answered: "Sure, why not." So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it. Management Learning: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up. ************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ****** Lesson Number 2: A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy. "Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull."They're packed with nutrients." The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it actually gave him enough strength to reach the first branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fourth night, there he was proudly perched at the top of the tree. Soon he was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree. Management Learning: Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there. ************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ****** Lesson Number 3: A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold, the bird froze and fell to the ground in a large field. While it was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on it. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, it began to realize how warm it was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him! Management Learning: 1) Not everyone who drops shit on you is your enemy. 2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend. 3) And when you're in deep shit, keep your mouth shut! ************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ******




Lesson Number 4: The boy rode on the donkey and the old man walked. As they went along, they passed some people who remarked "it was a shame the old man was walking and the boy was riding". The man and boy thought maybe the critics were right, so they changed positions. Later, they passed some e people that remarked, "What a shame, he makes that little boy walk." They decided they both would walk! Soon they passed some more people who thought they were stupid to walk when they had a decent donkey to ride. So the both rode the donkey! Now they passed some people that shamed them by saying "how awful to put such a load on a poor donkey". The boy and man said they were probably right so they decided to carry the donkey. As they crossed a bridge, they lost their grip on the animal and he fell into the river and drowned. Management Learning: If you try to please everyone, you will eventually lose your ass. ************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ****** Lesson Number 5: Once PVNR (PV Narasimha Rao), L.K.Advani and Laloo Prasad Yadav were travelling in an autorickshaw. They met with an accident and all three of them died. Yama was waiting for this moment at the doorstep of death.He asks PVNR and Advani to go to HEAVEN. But, for Laloo, Yama had already decided that he should be sent to HELL. Laloo is not at all happy with this decision. He asks Yama as to why this discrimination is being made. All the three of them had served the public. Similarly, all took bribes, all misused public positions, etc. Then why the differential treatment? He felt that there should be a formal test or an objective evaluation before a decision is made; and should not be just based on opinion or pre conceived notions. Yama agrees to this and asks all the three of them to appear for an English test. PVNR is asked to spell "INDIA" and he does it correctly. Advani is asked to spell "ENGLAND" and he too passes. It is Laloo's turn and he is asked to spell "CZECHOSLOVAKIA" . Laloo protests that he doesn't know English. He says this is not fair and that he was given a tough question and thus forced to fail with false intent. Yama then agrees to conduct a written test in Hindi (to give another chance assuming that Laloo should at least feel that Hindi would provide an equal platform for all three). PVNR is asked to write "KUTTA BOLA BHOW BHOW". He writes it easily and passes. Advani is asked to write "BILLY BOLI MYAUN MYAUN". He too passes. Laloo is asked to write "BANDAR BOLA GURRRRRR.... ."Tough one. He fails again. Laloo is extremely unhappy. Having been a student of history (which the other two weren't), he now requested for all the 3 to be subjected to a test in history. Yama says 'OK', but this would be the last chance; and that he would not take any more tests. PVNR is asked: "When did India get Independence? ". He replied "1947" and passed. Advani is asked "How many people died during the independence struggle?". He gets nervous. Yama asked him to choose from 3 options: 100,000 or 200,000 or 300,000. Advani catches it and says 200,000 and asses. It's Laloo's turn now. Yama asks him to give the Name and Address of each of the 200,000 who died in the struggle. Laloo accepts defeat and agrees to go to HELL. Management Lesson: "IF YOUR MANAGEMENT HAS DECIDED TO FIX YOU, THERE IS NO ESCAPE"

Lateral Thinking

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Lateral Thinking man 1. ------------ board Ans. = man overboard stand 2. ------------ i Ans. = I understand OK?.... Got the drift? Let's try a few now and see how you fair? 3. /r/e/a/d/i/n/g/ Ans. = reading between the lines 4. r road a d Ans. = cross road 5. cycle cycle cycle Ans. = tricycle 0 6. ------------ M.D. Ph.D. Ans. = two degrees below zero knee 7. ------------ light Ans. = neon light (knee-on-light) ground 8. --------------- feet feet feet feet feet feet Ans. = six feet underground 9. he's / himself Ans. = he's by himself 10. ecnalg Ans. = backward glance 11. death ..... life Ans. = life after death 12. THINK Ans. think big !! And the last one is real fundoo .. 13. ababaaabbbbaaaabbbbababaabbaaabbbb.... Ans. long time no 'C' (see)

Jokes

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Girlfriend: And are you sure you love me and no one else?
Boyfriend: Dead Sure! I checked the whole list again yesterday

Waiter: Would you like your coffee black?
Customer: What other colors do you have?


Manager: Sorry, but i can't give u a job. I don't need much help.
Job Applicant: That's all right. In fact I'm just the right person in this case. You see, I won't be of much help anyway!!


Dad: Son, what do u want for ur birthday?
Son: Not much dad, Just a radio with a sports car around it.






Diner: I can't eat such a rotten chicken. Call the manager!

Waiter: It's no use. He won't eat it either.


Man: Officer! There's a bomb in my garden!
Officer: Don't worry. If no one claims it within three days, you can keep it.

Good Quotes

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Friendship is like the relation between hands and eyes.
When the hand gets hurt, the eye cries, And when the eye cries the hand wipes its tears.


Speak less to the people whom you like most… Because if they can't understand your silence They can never understand your words…
To realizeThe value of a sisterAsk someoneWho doesn't have one.
To realize The value of ten years:Ask a newlyDivorced couple.
To realizeThe value of four years: Ask a graduate.
To realizeThe value of one year:Ask a student whoHas failed a final exam.
To realizeThe value of nine months: Ask a mother who gave birth to a still born.
To realize The value of one month:Ask a motherwho has given birth to A premature baby.
To realize The value of one week:Ask an editor of a weekly newspaper.
To realizeThe value of one hour:Ask the lovers who are waiting to Meet.
To realizeThe value of one minute: Ask a personWho has missed the train, bus or plane.
To realizeThe value of one-second: Ask a personWho has survived an accident...
To! realizeThe value of one millisecond:Ask the person who has won a silver medal in the Olympics Time waits for no one.Treasure every moment you have. You will treasure it even more when you can share it with someone special.
To realize the value of a friend: Lose one.The origin of this letter is unknown, But it brings good luck to everyone who passes it on.Do not keep this letter

If you're mad with someone and nobody's there to fix the situation... You fix it.
Maybe today, that person still wants to be your friend. And if u doesn't, tomorrow can be too late.

If you're in love with somebody, but that person doesn't know... tell her/him.
Maybe today, that person is also in love with you. And if you don't say it, tomorrow can be too late.

If you still love a person that you think has forgotten you...

tell her/him. Maybe that person has always loved you. And if you don't tell her/him today, tomorrow can be too late.

If you need a hug of a friend... ask her/him for it. Maybe they need it more than you do.
And if you don't ask for it today, tomorrow can be too late.
If you really have friends who you appreciate... tell them. Maybe they appreciate you as well.
That if you don't and they leave or go far away today, tomorrow can be too late.

If you love your parents, and never had the chance to show them... do it.
Maybe you have them there to show them how you feel. That if you don't and they leave today, and then tomorrow can be too late.





I found the 7 secrets of success in my room….for a bright and happy life!

Roof said: ….……….…………………….. Aim high
Fan said: …………………………………….. Be cool
Clock said: …….……….. Every min. is precious
Mirror said: …….………….Reflect before you act
Window said: ….……………………. See the world
Calendar said: ……..……..……….. Be up-to-date
Door said: ……….Push hard to achieve Ur goals


If Yesterday didn't end up the way u planned... Just remember...
GOD created today for u to start a new one...
GOD gives the best to those who leave the choice to him .

Alphabet of Happiness

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Alphabets Of Happiness

A—Accept

Accept others for who they are and for the choices they've made even if you have difficulty understanding their beliefs, motives, or actions.

B--Break

AwayBreak away from everything that stands in the way of what you hope to accomplish with your life.

C--Create

Create a family of friends whom you can share your hopes, dreams, sorrows, and happiness with.

D--Decide

Decide that you'll be successful and happy come what may, and good things will find you. The roadblocks are only minor obstacles along the way.

E--Explore

Explore and experiment. The world has much to offer, and you have much to give. And every time you try something new, you'll learn more about yourself.

F--Forgive

Forgive and forget. Grudges only weigh you down and inspire unhappiness and grief. Soar above it, and remember that everyone makes mistakes.

G--Grow

Leave the childhood monsters behind. They can no longer hurt you or stand in your way.

H--Hope

Hope for the best and never forget that anything is possible as long as you remain dedicated to the task.

I--Ignore

Ignore the negative voice inside your head. Focus instead on your goals and remember your accomplishments. Your past success is only a small inkling of what the future holds.

J--Journey

Journey to new worlds, new possibilities, by remaining open-minded. Try to learn something new every day, and you'll grow.

K--Know

Know that no matter how bad things seem, they'll always get better. The warmth of spring always follows the harshest winter.

L--Love

Let love fill your heart instead of hate. When hate is in your heart, there's room for nothing else, but when love is in your heart, there's room for endless happiness.

M--Manage

Manage your time and your expenses wisely, and you'll suffer less stress and worry. Then you'll be able to focus on the important things in life.

N--Notice

Never ignore the poor, infirm, helpless, weak, or suffering. Offer your assistance when possible, and always your kindness and understanding.

O--Open

Open your eyes and take in all the beauty around you. Even during the worst of times, there's still much to be thankful for.

P--Play

Never forget to have fun along the way. Success means nothing without happiness.

Q--Question

Ask many questions, because you're here to learn.

R--Relax

Refuse to let worry and stress rule your life, and remember that things always have a way of working out in the end.

S--Share

Share your talent, skills, knowledge, and time with others. Everything that you invest in others will return to you many times over.

T--Try

Even when your dreams seem impossible to reach, try anyway. You'll be amazed by what you can accomplish.

U--Use

Use your gifts to your best ability. Talent that's wasted has no value. Talent that's used will bring unexpected rewards.

V--Value

Value the friends and family members who've supported and encouraged you, and be there for them as well.

W--Work

Work hard every day to be the best person you can be, but never feel guilty if you fall short of your goals. Every sunrise offers a second chance.

X--X-Ray

Look deep inside the hearts of those around you and you'll see the goodness and beauty within.

Y--Yield

Yield to commitment. If you stay on track and remain dedicated, you'll find success at the end of the road.

Z--Zoom

Zoom to a happy place when bad memories or sorrow rears its ugly head. Let nothing interfere with your goals. Instead, focus on your abilities, your dreams, and a brighter tomorrow.

Corporate Facts

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Programmer to Team Leader :

"We can't do this proposed project.**CAN NOT**. It will involve a majordesign change and no one in our team knows the design of this legacysystem. And above that, nobody in our company knows the language in whichthisapplication has been written. So even if somebody wants to work on it,they can't. If you ask my personal opinion, the company should never takethese type of projects.

"Team Leader to Project Manager :"

This project will involve a design change. Currently, we don't have anystaff who has experience in this type of work. Also, the language isunfamiliar to us, so we will have to arrange for some training if we takethis project. In my personal opinion, we are not ready to take on aproject of this nature.


"Project Manager to 1st Level Manager :"

This project involves a design change in the system and we don't havemuch experience in that area. Also, not many people in our company areappropriately trained for it. In my personal opinion, we might be able todo the project but we would need more time than usual to complete it.


"1st Level Manager to Senior Level Manager :"

This project involves design re-engineering. We have some people who haveworked in this area and others who know the implementation language. Sothey can train other people. In my personal opinion we should take thisproject, but with caution.


"Senior Level Manager to CEO :"

This project will demonstrate to the industry our capabilities inremodelling the design of a complete legacy system. We have all thenecessary skills and people to execute this project successfully. Somepeople have already given in house training in this area to other staffmembers. In my personal opinion, we should not let this project slip by usunder any circumstances.


"CEO to Client :"

This is the type of project in which our company specializes. We haveexecuted many projects of the same nature for many large clients. Trust mewhen I say that we are the most competent firm in the industry for doingthis kind of work. It is my personal opinion that we can execute thisproject successfully and well within the given time frame."


Wonderful definitions of designations at office:

1) Project Manager is a Person who thinks nine women can deliver a baby in One month.
2) Developer is a Person who thinks it will take 18 months to deliver a Baby.
3) Onsite Coordinator is one who thinks single woman can deliver nine babies in one month.
4) Client is the one who doesn't know why he wants a baby.
5) Marketing Manager is a person who thinks he can deliver a baby even if no man and woman are available.
6) Resource Optimization Team thinks they don't need a man or woman; they'll produce a child with zero resources.
7) Documentation Team thinks they don't care whether the child is delivered, they'll just document 9 months.
8) Quality Auditor is the person who is never happy with the PROCESS to produce a baby.
9) Tester is a person who always tells his wife that this is not the Right baby.
10) HR is a person who thinks that a donkey can deliver a human baby if given 9 months






APPRAISAL STORY

Appraisal ke naam par ek lambi aah bharte hain,
chaliye ab hum is "dukhad" kahani ki shuruat karte hain,
hamehsa ki tarah 10 baje thumakte hue office aya,
11 baje tak nashta kiya aur barah baje tak mail hi padh paya,
hamesha ki tarah aaj bhi mujhe alas aa raha tha,
aur mera PM mujhe tirchi nigaho se dekh-dekh gussa raha tha,
main bade concentration ke sath ek "Careful" mail padh raha tha,
tabhi dekha mere PM ke naam ka new mail kone main blink kar raha tha,
is mail ki amad se itna ghabara raha tha,
ki CLTR + F4 ki jagah shift + F5 daba rah tha,
phir koi trainig attend karni hogi, ye kya bakwas hai,
kya reply maim likh dun ki mere mailbox ka upwas hai ?
maine aankhen band ki aur 10 bar "om" "om" bola,
aur pranam karte hue maine wo mail khola,
PM ke is mail main ek ajeeb sa sukoon aur bholapan hai,
likha hai bhaiyon appraisal letters aa gaye,ab to one-to-one hai,
mujhe lag rah tha vb ke environment pe unix ka code likh diya ho kisi ne,
dil aise dhadak raha tha jaise baar baar dil pe double click kiya ho kisi ne,
man main aise bure bure khayal aa rahe the,
upar se kuch log mere "de-appraisal" ki gandi affvah uda rahe the,
appraisal aise aya jaise India main Michael Jackson aya ho,
jaise Indian football team ne ,Manchester United ko haraya ho,
PM ko letter late dekh har koi use dekhta jata hai,
jaise mallika ke kisi naye gane ko dekha jata hai,
akhir wo waqt aya,
PM ne ek ek kar sabko ander bulaya,
jo bhi ander jata hansta hua jata,
jo bahar ata , murjhaya hua ata,
jo bhi ander jata, sabko dekhte hue jata,
jaise hi bahar ata , sabse mooh chupata,
bahar aa kar insaan sambhal bhi nahi pata hai,
ki "kitna hua kitna mila" har koi uspe toot jata hai,
aisa lagta hai wo romm nahi "time machine" ho jo sabke ander leti ho,
aur "good time" se utha kar "bad time" main lakar chod deti ho,
kisi ko appraisal main 2000 rupaye mile the, main uski hansi uda raha tha,
tabhi maine dekha mera PM ishare se mujhe inder bula raha tha,
main confidence se utha aur age kadam badhaya,
tabhi meri belt ka buckle toot ke nikal aya,
meri halat to abhi se hi buri ho gayi,
sala izzat utarna to yahi se shuru ho gayi,
main ander pahuncha aur PM ne mujhe bithaya,
usne mera letter padha aur wo hansi rok na paya,
wo hansne laga aur hansta hi chala gaya,
use yaron hansi ka thaska a gaya,
wo itna hansa ki use ansu aa gaye,
mere appraisal digits use itne bha gaye,
jaise hi usne appraisal letter meri taraf badhaya,
meri ankhon ke age ghanghor andhera chaya,
mujhe laga jaise meri dil ki deewar ko kisi ne gobar se pota hai,
are yaar "bees rupaye" ? ye bhi koi increment hota hai ?
ye software indusrty hai akhada nahi hai,

ye "SALARY INCREMENT" hai , Dadar ane-jane ka bhada nahi hai,
meri charon taraf kali ghata chayi,
tabhi mere PM ki soothing awaz ayi,
tum soch rahe hoge ke companuy mgmt ka dimag phir gaya hai,
par beta hum kya karen , dollar ka bhav 2 rupaye jo gir gaya hai ,
par phir bhi mujhe lagta hai, ye letter fake hai,
mujhe to lagta hai ye printing mistake hai,
tum HR main jao,
aur ye confirm karke ao,
bhai HR main jane ke liye taiyyar hona padta hai,
wahi to aisi jagah hai jahan sunder ladkiyon se pala padta hai,
shitt!! jahan "Ronak" baith ti hai, aaj whan baitha "Aftab"hai,
main samajh gaya beta, aaj apna badluck hi kharab hai,
usne mera letter khola,
aur khush ho ke bola,
wo bola sir aap ke liye khushkhabri hai,
aap ke letter ne "Printing mistake" pakdi hai,
maine kaha boss ab der na lagayen ,
aur mujhe mera actual amount batayen,
sorry sir ye mistake just by accident hai,
bees rupaye nahi , do rupaye aap ka increment hai,
main kya karun aap ko ye bataate hue mera dil ro raha hai,
par kya karen dollar ka bhav bhi to kam ho raha hai,
main bas wahan khada tha ,kuch samajh nahi aa raha tha,
mujhse zyada increment to security wala pa raha tah,
maine khud ko sambhala, khud ko uthaya ,
main lauta aur seedhe PM ke pass aya,
main seedha uske cabin gaya aur darwaza khola,
is se pehle ki wo bole, main hi us se bola,
sir ye paise wapis le lijiye, baat karna fizool hai,
main gareeb hun, par bheekh nahi leta ye mera usool hai,
doston ek ant main ek shayari --
"appraisal aisa laddu hai ,jise khane ka har kisi ka khwab hota hai,
par ek bar koi ise kha le , to bada bhayankar julaab hota hai,"